My Grant Writing “Why” | Alina Ainyette
I can honestly say that I was one of those people who at 10 years old had my whole life planned out. I was going to go to an amazing college, I would go straight into medical school and then into residency, and along this path, I would, of course, find the person to spend my life with. Outside of this fairy tale that I had painted for myself, my life was not so picturesque. I struggled throughout my college years, I applied for medical school and didn’t get in, I took time off, my mother passed away, and ‘no’ I have not found the one yet. Despite it all, I am the happiest I have ever been. It is the combination of these life events that I find myself here, at SLU completing my Ph.D. From this chain of events, I have learned 3 important lessons that have led me to the point where you are reading this.
First, I am exactly like my father. No, I am exactly like him, demeanor, straight-faced, composed, introverted, A-type personality. I plan things in advance and then confirm the confirmation. I had it figured out that life would be a straight line and it wasn’t. From this, I learned not to tie myself to a certain plan. Yes, I loved medicine and science but, it wasn’t meant to be. This doesn’t mean that my craving to help or bring about change changed, I just need to find another way to express this innate desire.
Two, I took time off. I am not ashamed to say that even with a degree from a very prestigious liberal arts school I found myself working at Macy’s after college. This time was difficult after being away from home for years and finally thinking of myself as an adult. I wasn’t. I learned to talk to people, engage with people, get to the root of their issues and find an answer. Again, I realized that I liked to hear about people’s problems and find solutions to help.
Third, when my mother passed away about a year after I graduated from college, I learned the toughest lesson of all, that I am resilient beyond measure. I told myself that if the doctors gave my mom 6 months and she lasted 4 years then the least I could do was to continue to push myself. I went back to school and achieved my MPH; I finally got a job in the field of substance use, specifically opioid addiction and I finally found something that ignited me. I found myself able to relate to people who had rough upbringings (I was originally born and raised in the Bronx, New York), I found people who were dealing with their mental struggles (as I do daily) and I was able to provide opportunities for those suffering from mental illness (in a way I could not do for some of my immediate family).
So, the real question becomes why grants? Well, it is a course that I have to take but, it is more than that to me. I understand that the field of substance abuse and addiction is heavily influenced by funding. The new and innovative advances are made by those with the purse strings and yes, I want to be a part of that. I no longer want to be someone following the rules that people are making, I want to be making the rules, I want to be in the room where the rules are being created. Again this depends on research and funding. From this course, I want to push myself, and my ability to write, challenge my way of thinking and leave a better version of myself. I want to leave knowing that I took the course seriously and I am one step closer to the person I envision myself as.
